dying to myself...

I have come to learn that I have high expectations of myself... and it upsets me when I am anything less than my own standard...I have to learn to keep my standards, and to balance it with trusting God...

I also come to learn that I am selfish, afraid of sufferings & difficulties, and have the tendency to want the easy way out...

Unless a kernel of wheat dies and falls to the ground, it will not bear much fruit... the Lord reminded me again... What He has given me is to make me a better person... it is not just for my pleasure or fun... but it is to make me a better testimony for Him...

perseverance is another recurring theme that God has reminded me again (and again)... it's never easy to stick in there when the tough gets going... but like what Ps Ben says, it's what you decided upon when the rubber meets the road... Help me to be persevering, loving and unconditional... I can only do it with Your Love, not mine..

I look forward to all the things that are to come in anticipation because You are my God and You are Jehovah Jireh!

Two are better than one..

Been a while since a wrote.. been a lil' busy with JUMP, a lil' bit of work, and not denying, the person in my life...



JUMP conference & concert was a BLAST!







Thank God for ALL you guys in the committee and volunteers who worked so hard amidst the tight schedule and limitations, to pull it off so well. One thing about doing the work of God is teamwork, which I really enjoy.

Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their work:

If one falls down, his friend can help him up.

But pity the man who falls and has no one to help him up!

Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm. But how can one keep warm alone?

Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves.

A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.

(Ecclesiastes 4:9-12)

This is really true... in a team, we cover one another, we look out for one another and we check one another's blind spots... in a team, we bring out the best in one another, yet, the ugly side of us surfaces (within ourselves). As iron sharpens iron, so a man sharpens another... this is again, so true. When I serve in a team, I learn things about myself... the inner thoughts, emotions that flare out which only God & I will know, are all valuable lessons I can learn... Without partners, one will always be swimming in his/her own thoughts and pool, and might not have new revelations or realisations about oneself... I guess we grow when we are in a community... thank God for building His Church based on communities... I also learnt that I am really a team-person. I really don't work well alone - I feel dry and unexcited... (blame it on my personality, hehe)... but that is how God made me, and I rejoice in that (personality).

Maybe that is why God sent me my partner... Referring to the verses above, again, I am learning so much about myself, discovering new things (monsters) within me... like he so aptly said, that in a relationship, we are challenged to live out the ways of the bible constantly... I used to think it is a chore being in a relationship, and that there is not much value-add, but it'll probably just be added stress and problems in life... but God knows better what is good for me... He knows that I will become a better person when I have a partner to work with. In addition, through some events, I realize that with a partner, it does help that I have someone to share my emotions and struggles with... Being single is really GREAT; being in a relationship is GREAT too - neither is better, being in God's plan in BEST. I thank God for Gerald who is a great man of God, and I am privileged to share my life with him...

P.S: Check out geraldaw.blogspot.com. Yup, he writes well... ;p