15th Anniversary Celebration!

It is such a privilege and honour to serve in this Family of God, with people sold out for His Cause, and sacrificial ones who just want to give their best. Thus are those I serve with in Hoep Church Singapore. Yesterday was our BIG 15th Anniversary Celebration. To us, it was BIG... It was at Expo, where all 3000 came together to worship and celebrate the goodness of God in our church.
Serving as the stage manager, it was stressful since Friday night when we had our rehearsals. As of Friday night, most things did not happen as planned. Everything was late; the sound was horrendous, lights were not even designed. I had no idea how the whole thing will turn out on Sat...
When Sat came, we were still running through transitions, and etc...
3pm, Sat, 16 Sep 06, was one of the most tensed moment in my life... It was the time when everyone in the production was waiting for my cue to roll the show... Finally, it rolled... and it rolled smoothly! Man, seeing the whole programme enravel before me was like opening a present slowly to find each wrapper seamless... Ok, except the wrong cue we gave to the stage ministers during Ps Ben's sermon.. I was utterly embarrased tho' I wasn't on stage.
I kept asking myself during the show: What am I, for God to use me in such ways...? Would I exchange this privilege to serve in His ministry for anything else...? Well, for that question, I didn't answer immediately cos' I didn't want to be frivilous and emotional about such answers... that will be another episode..
But it was a memorable event indeed. For all the events I have done, all the services, parties, etc etc, yesterday was one that was the biggest scale - 3000 people, Singapore Expo, 100-people choir, full band plus strings, dancers, multimedia, the whole works man..

Thank you all, who were involved in our celebration! It is wonderful to serve with you guys!



Oh Lord, I can't tell you enough, how grateful I am that You allowed me this honour to serve You and Your church. All glory goes to You, for it is You who created me...
Today's Sunday... feels weirdly nice to be home, sleeping till' 1030am... Tomorrow starts another week. Will be off to Taipei on Tue... Man, the thought of next 2 weeks tires me... Only You can sustain me and give me strength to carry on...
Draw me even closer to You, as I get even busier and more tired...

.......

I can't think of a title for this entry... It probably reflects my thoughts... They're just .......

Been having mood fluctuations lately... That's trying in itself.

Work isn't helping. I feel rather "bashed up" by clients and their issues, after taking over this portfolio for about 4 months... O Lord, only You can sustain me.

Anniversary is next week, I am SO excited! It's gonna be a "hair-raising" event, especially with all the walking-down-memory-lane stuffs. It's my privilege to be involved.

Then, there're things I hope to have, yet I know I shouldn't, I can't, and paradoxically, I don't hope to have... Read in one part of a book called "Drawing Near" by John Bevere - God may actually grant me my heart's desire if I want it SO badly, even if it's gonna hurt me. When I covet something so badly in my heart, and pray for it, God MAY give it to me... Now, THAT was quite a revelation, cos' I wouldn't want God to allow me to have the thing I so covet for in my heart, which I know is not good for me...
Ok, it seems like I am going round and round... I just need to rattle on... bear with me...

Anyway, I prayed that God will NOT give me what I want which is not good for me (and I know it very well). Sigh, life is an irony...

Well, I've been in and out of these thoughts - they tire me too...

Another week is over (",)

(",) HanLong taught me this smiley (Not sure how many knows this, or can figure it out: it's a face, with both eyes looking left, with a lil' smile). Ok, cheap thrill... Well, it's Friday-night entertainment... Hahaha.

The week's over before we know it... I pondered about how, in spite of all the grumblings of how tough times last seem to last forever, etc, time doesn't wait, and passes real quickly. Just think about it with me.. It's September already... Gosh, it seemed like only yesterday when it was February... Anyway, I guess time will only go faster, not slower... It's weird huh? I guess this perspective changes as we age...

My week has been quite good, I would say. I had a good time with God on Wed, conversing with Him on a very casual note. That time of communing was so natural and easy... Well, He IS a relational God afterall. I learnt that:
1) Tough times on earth are temporal. God and His Ways are eternal, so always keep ourselves in perspectives especially when our heads are below water.
2) As far as the east is to the west, He has thrown my sins into the sea and has separated me from the entanglement of past sins.
3) He values me SO much. I asked Him why. He simply said, cos' there is value in me. He sees a lot of value in me. If others think I am good/great, He thinks I am even better/greater, simply cos He made me and I am His child. Every parent thinks the world of their kids. (My closest experience is being aunt to my nephews - I think the world of them).
4) When I go through tough and challenging times, I AM able to bear them, simply cos He said I can. Not cos I can on my own abilities, but simply cos His Word says He will not let me be tempted beyond what I can bear. So surely, I AM able to bear them. I just sometimes need to grit my teeth and walk through it. Like I always sprout: People will only grow when they go through hard times (sounds better in Chinese).
5) He said He values me, He wants to use me to be an impact in the world (work) and in church, and that His plans are to prosper me, not to harm me (I just gotta Trust Him).

Then I was whining to God and saying, "But work is so hard sometimes...". And He said, "Just do your best on your part, and leave the rest to me." In sales, you learn what is walking by faith.

Thank you, Lord for all that I had been struggling with... At least You show interest in my character (still). Thank You for always making clear things to me - it means a lot to me. Like my shepherd said, it's important to always make sense of what you are going through...

Tomorrow's Sat... I gotta savour every moment of it... so, enjoy yours too! (",)