Unintentional-Sunburn-Saturday

It all started as a lil' "expectation" from my colleague Daniel to go support them in the inter-department soccer tournament today. I kinda know this cos' I was supposed to go support them last year, but didn't. Anyway, due to the proximity of my house to the sports complex, I have little excuse not to drop by.
I scrambled out of bed at 9am, when I wanted to sleep in some more, cos I tuckd in at 245a last night (Reasons: Ramond my brother & Hitch the show). Anyway, went there and was supposed to drop by and go. By the time I realized the time, I would be late for my dermatologist appointment. I called them, they said they couldn't wait for me, cos their appointments were packed. Alas, I went back and decided to stay for the tournament. Anyway, the stay lasted about 4.5hrs in total! And Thank God they won the overall champion! My support was not in vain, haha!

The Champions



(Disclaimer: Emma is really bad at computer and stuffs. I have no idea why the photo cannot be rotated, ARGH!)


Anyway, when I came home, I felt uncomfortable and realized that I'd been sunburnt! Imagine the devastation!!! I hate to be sunburnt, and usually if I really do, I will be prepared for it. Today, no sunblock, no nothing, and the sunburn just crept up to me like a slithering snake! And the best part was, I was in the shade for the big part of the time, how unfair!
So, now I have red hair, and red arms, how's that for colour-matching????

Things had been pretty rough recently: The tiredness from all the traveling, continuous work and not much rest, plus those multiple persistent personal struggles. But most of all, the physical tiredness spills over to the rest of me. I long for a break - just ONE day of doing nothing and chilling out at the beach on my own, spending good time talking to God and clearing out my mind and all the clutter. Afterall, it IS the year-end and it IS time for reflection and preparing for the new year.


GOSH, I wish I could hibernate somewhere... I will be in Kunming with my whole family including the babies over Christmas, and I have a feeling I will be tired after that. Man, when can I REST??? Oh Lord, make time for me pls. I need the break, even if it is just for ONE day!

MERRY CHRISTMAS!

Bluetooth

This is a brand new world of wireless stuff for me. Ok, I know I have been in the caves for a long time. The world is probably using purple or black tooth while I just discovered bluetooth. I just got my new mobile phone (at long last). And there's bluetooth, so I could send music, photos to and from my phone and my ibook. Man, such accessibility is marvelous!

This is a photo I took with my new phone of the 2 loves of my life:




Well, a lil' update of my life... Been down with another bout of cold AGAIN. Yea yea, tell me about it... I am like popping pills since quite some time back. And I think my health and immunity system is really not in its best shape, as when this flu bug hits me, my body literally shuts down and I am groggy and can't do anything... That's how bad it's been for the past 2 days. But God is good. I got totally well right before I went Beijing. Oh yea, Beijing is a nice place. Here're some pics:



Met one of my aunties in Beijing... Cool rite?




Other than Beijing, think my life has been in a lil' upheavel. Well, God spoke specifically to me on Sunday, so I guess it is foolishness if I ran away like Jonah. I don't wanna waste time staying in the belly of a fish just so that God can get through to me. I learnt that as I grew as a christian, and as I know more things about God, it gets more difficult to just leap out in faith like when I was a newbie in this faith. But it is very refreshing to be reminded of how Abraham obeyed God when God asked him to sacrifice Isaac, his one and only beloved son. And David said in 2 Sam 24 that he will not sacrifice to God that which cost him nothing. Joshua challenged his people to throw away the gods that their forefathers worshipped, and to choose for themselves who they want to worship. Well, testings and temptations are but common to men, but when u are in the midst of it, things ain't as simple as they seem. I was reminded of the times when I took out the moral courage to stand for my God in the midst of persecution, to go for water baptism, etc. Those were memorable days of victory,.

Oh God, it is only by Your Grace that I can stand before You. Let me be victorious once again! You are Jehovah Nissi - my Banner! Fly High in my life O Lord!

Rain...

Rain... the Madonna song rang in my head... ok, now, it's a retro song...

It seldom rain when I am at home, so whenever it does, it is very heartwarming and refreshing. Today especially I guess... I felt God was trying to tell me that He knows how I feel, so He sent rain... that was really sweet... I am in one of those melancholic moods... "Life is tough", my shepherd and I were affirming it this afternoon...

(I appreciate her a great deal. Our friendship has come a long way and it feels like it will go on forever... Thanks, Vivian!)

I've been thinking about a lot of things recently... oh, and it doesn't help that I am STILL sick. It started at the tail-end of Module 2 [HOORAY! I survived it!!!! it was tough-going man, but the comradeship was exhilarating] I'd been sick for more than a week and my body still feels weak... Gosh, I wonder why this time is so long...

Oh, i was talking about the lots-of-things-recently stuff... well, I feel that it's one of those periods of time when I go through thoughts that I have not had for a long time, and well, things can get quite disappointing in life at times... I am not sure how I am really feeling... is it the sickness and virus still in me that makes me tired, weak and vulnerable...? or is it a valid disappointment that I have to work through...

Lord, only You know and only You can bring about rain that brings comfort to my soul...

Year-end is here... it's always a very special time of the year... Enjoy every minute of it. 2007 will come in a twinkle of an eye...

Under-estimation

Man, I under-estimated this module again... and you know what I heard? Module 2 is still not the most "siong" one. Module 3 will be the worst... Somebody kill me!!!!!

In Fixed Income class today, I really asked myself why in the world did I sign up for this course...???? I am SO not cut-out for these studying stuff man.... It's sooooo chim... Today is Friday - we have ONE more week to go, and I am already feeling saturated, stressed-out and most of all, stupid. You can't believe all the stuff that goes on in class... The lecturers are SO good, they think we're 1/100 of them, but some of us, like myself, are not even there, so that's where the problem is... The disparity is just too great...

I think I do get such syndrome when I study, or even when I am in the midst of major projects or a major hurdle to cross (eg., sales targets, life challenges, etc). I get so stressed up in the midst of stuffs - they can overwhlem me at times... like now...
Gosh, I dunno how I am going to absorb everything, sit for quizzes, exams, and learn the whole picture (like I did on hindsight for the last Module - that is my comfort and encouragement to press on).

Every morning I wake up and ask God to help me to get through the day cos it is just so intensive. Well, I guess one of the main result will be character-building. Oh Lord, help me and build my character.

My classmates are great! here's a picture we took after our group project with some others still in the seminar room:



Till I have the sanity to write again....

Module-2 Torture starts tomorrow!!!

Tomorrow marks yet another 2 weeks of torture. Module 2 of my Masters starts tomorrow. So, for the next 2 weeks, my world will stop spinning, and all I know and see, are my classmates, and... my classmates.
I had been really stressed about going back for Module 2, because I think out of the 5 modules, this module is the worst - most "siong" one. Just 3 subjects, but they are like the heaviest...

Presenting...

HeavyWeight No. 1, weighing 1 credit, 30 hrs, here... is.... EQUITIES!!! *cheers, whistles and claps*

next, we have... weighing ALSO 1 credit, ALSO 30 hrs, here comes...... FIXED INCOME!!!!! *whistles, cheers, claps*

And last... but not least..... HeavyWeight No. 3. Weighing ALSO 1 credit..... AND ALSO.... 30 hrs..... let's put our hands together and welcome...... CORPORATE FINANCE!!!!! *crowd goes wild*

Yup, these are gonna be my source of torture for the next 2 weeks... I can't remember how Module 1 tasted already... though, I know it was TOUGH... oh Lord, be with me...

As I was dreading today to be over, (cos tomorrow comes after today), I was showered with a lot of Love.. I was blessed with PRESENTS! I mean, it's not the presents that make me feel loved, but the reasons why I was given these presents... I was soooooo touched, cos people remember and care for me...

Presenting... present No. 1, with Love from Pei Key:




And guess what's inside....?




And here comes Present No. 2, with Love from WeiZhu & Joseph A - 2 wonderful brothers from my previous CG... (Some of these people sometimes see something, and they buy me, cos they think of me... how sweet is that....?) Thanks, NG1A3!




Oh, since I haven't wrote for a long time, just something from yesterday... yesterday was quite a babies' day. I went to see my god-daughter, Claire:




And then had a 'family gathering" with Alice, Ramond, Eugene, Ah Seng. Before going off for our gathering, we went to Alice's place to see Charlize, Alice's daughter:




Last but not least, to end off my Saturday, I have my 2 cutest nephews, Shau En (Shaun):




And Shau Jet:




So, that's about it for now, folks... if I still can breathe over the next 2 weeks, I might drop a line or two... Well, don't miss me too much...cos' you won't be seeing me much... O God, Help me!

15th Anniversary Celebration!

It is such a privilege and honour to serve in this Family of God, with people sold out for His Cause, and sacrificial ones who just want to give their best. Thus are those I serve with in Hoep Church Singapore. Yesterday was our BIG 15th Anniversary Celebration. To us, it was BIG... It was at Expo, where all 3000 came together to worship and celebrate the goodness of God in our church.
Serving as the stage manager, it was stressful since Friday night when we had our rehearsals. As of Friday night, most things did not happen as planned. Everything was late; the sound was horrendous, lights were not even designed. I had no idea how the whole thing will turn out on Sat...
When Sat came, we were still running through transitions, and etc...
3pm, Sat, 16 Sep 06, was one of the most tensed moment in my life... It was the time when everyone in the production was waiting for my cue to roll the show... Finally, it rolled... and it rolled smoothly! Man, seeing the whole programme enravel before me was like opening a present slowly to find each wrapper seamless... Ok, except the wrong cue we gave to the stage ministers during Ps Ben's sermon.. I was utterly embarrased tho' I wasn't on stage.
I kept asking myself during the show: What am I, for God to use me in such ways...? Would I exchange this privilege to serve in His ministry for anything else...? Well, for that question, I didn't answer immediately cos' I didn't want to be frivilous and emotional about such answers... that will be another episode..
But it was a memorable event indeed. For all the events I have done, all the services, parties, etc etc, yesterday was one that was the biggest scale - 3000 people, Singapore Expo, 100-people choir, full band plus strings, dancers, multimedia, the whole works man..

Thank you all, who were involved in our celebration! It is wonderful to serve with you guys!



Oh Lord, I can't tell you enough, how grateful I am that You allowed me this honour to serve You and Your church. All glory goes to You, for it is You who created me...
Today's Sunday... feels weirdly nice to be home, sleeping till' 1030am... Tomorrow starts another week. Will be off to Taipei on Tue... Man, the thought of next 2 weeks tires me... Only You can sustain me and give me strength to carry on...
Draw me even closer to You, as I get even busier and more tired...

.......

I can't think of a title for this entry... It probably reflects my thoughts... They're just .......

Been having mood fluctuations lately... That's trying in itself.

Work isn't helping. I feel rather "bashed up" by clients and their issues, after taking over this portfolio for about 4 months... O Lord, only You can sustain me.

Anniversary is next week, I am SO excited! It's gonna be a "hair-raising" event, especially with all the walking-down-memory-lane stuffs. It's my privilege to be involved.

Then, there're things I hope to have, yet I know I shouldn't, I can't, and paradoxically, I don't hope to have... Read in one part of a book called "Drawing Near" by John Bevere - God may actually grant me my heart's desire if I want it SO badly, even if it's gonna hurt me. When I covet something so badly in my heart, and pray for it, God MAY give it to me... Now, THAT was quite a revelation, cos' I wouldn't want God to allow me to have the thing I so covet for in my heart, which I know is not good for me...
Ok, it seems like I am going round and round... I just need to rattle on... bear with me...

Anyway, I prayed that God will NOT give me what I want which is not good for me (and I know it very well). Sigh, life is an irony...

Well, I've been in and out of these thoughts - they tire me too...

Another week is over (",)

(",) HanLong taught me this smiley (Not sure how many knows this, or can figure it out: it's a face, with both eyes looking left, with a lil' smile). Ok, cheap thrill... Well, it's Friday-night entertainment... Hahaha.

The week's over before we know it... I pondered about how, in spite of all the grumblings of how tough times last seem to last forever, etc, time doesn't wait, and passes real quickly. Just think about it with me.. It's September already... Gosh, it seemed like only yesterday when it was February... Anyway, I guess time will only go faster, not slower... It's weird huh? I guess this perspective changes as we age...

My week has been quite good, I would say. I had a good time with God on Wed, conversing with Him on a very casual note. That time of communing was so natural and easy... Well, He IS a relational God afterall. I learnt that:
1) Tough times on earth are temporal. God and His Ways are eternal, so always keep ourselves in perspectives especially when our heads are below water.
2) As far as the east is to the west, He has thrown my sins into the sea and has separated me from the entanglement of past sins.
3) He values me SO much. I asked Him why. He simply said, cos' there is value in me. He sees a lot of value in me. If others think I am good/great, He thinks I am even better/greater, simply cos He made me and I am His child. Every parent thinks the world of their kids. (My closest experience is being aunt to my nephews - I think the world of them).
4) When I go through tough and challenging times, I AM able to bear them, simply cos He said I can. Not cos I can on my own abilities, but simply cos His Word says He will not let me be tempted beyond what I can bear. So surely, I AM able to bear them. I just sometimes need to grit my teeth and walk through it. Like I always sprout: People will only grow when they go through hard times (sounds better in Chinese).
5) He said He values me, He wants to use me to be an impact in the world (work) and in church, and that His plans are to prosper me, not to harm me (I just gotta Trust Him).

Then I was whining to God and saying, "But work is so hard sometimes...". And He said, "Just do your best on your part, and leave the rest to me." In sales, you learn what is walking by faith.

Thank you, Lord for all that I had been struggling with... At least You show interest in my character (still). Thank You for always making clear things to me - it means a lot to me. Like my shepherd said, it's important to always make sense of what you are going through...

Tomorrow's Sat... I gotta savour every moment of it... so, enjoy yours too! (",)

Fire-fighting week (wats new?)

This week has been a fire-fighting week. At work, phone-calls, clients' enquiries, servicing matters, etc etc, were crazy. And DON'T remind of THAT particular client who gets on my nerves by haggling for better rates. Is Private banking and Wet market synonymous....???? That irks me a greeat deal... Well, that's part and parcel of the servicing line, isn't it? *shakes head*

I'd been very tired - mentally, emotionally, physically. Thank God my spiritual state still ticks more or less... Thank You God. I'd been thinking of sooooo many things - that tires me out mentally. But I know all these thinking and pondering, struggling, tussling, haggling are necessary... Testing kinda looks like that I guess. If I don't go through this thinking, reasoning, tussling exercise, I don't think I will learn anything out of it... Lots of things that happen cause me to look at the world and ponder... I thank God I belong to His World... but of course, THAT in itself creates a tussle as well... This world is messy... Human hearts are messier...

Well, I don't really see when all these tussles in me are gonna end/slow down... but I know a couple of things: 1) I will not be tested/tempted beyond what i can bear... God knows better than me. 2) Faith is seeing the unknown. 3) He is in-charge of this testing-episode, I just gotta go through it trusting Him... Again, He knows better than me. 4) The mind is a powerful tool. i guess in many things, we gotta make the decisions in our hearts and minds. That's where change (for the better/according to His way) will really take place.

Life is really not easy nowadays... And don't ask me when I am off to Taiwan again... Not that I do not like the place (I am beginning to), but I really need a break from the travelling... Another day comes yet another day of challenges and fire-fighting in every sense - work, my heart, my mind, etc... Oh, that the Rain of the Lord will come and douse these fires when they have done their work of refinement (of my character and inner man)..

Have a Great weekend; Mine's quite short... But I still thank God for it!

Back from Battle-field

Thank God for His Provision all the time. He ALWAYS delivers me... tested and proven... but I still go through those bouts of stress prior to His Deliverance... I'm back from Taiwan. Thank God for that deal I closed on Thursday that bought my ticket home. It has been an interesting trip cos' I was there with a colleague, and he's quite interesting... well, any company is good for business trips I guess... It can get really lonely out there...

Through this trip, I felt that I was revisiting a lot of my basic values and principles that I hold oh-so dearly to all these years. I felt like going through New Believers 101. But it has been a wonderful revisitation... I guess we all must always go back to basics.. God, forgive me for being so forgetful. Thank You for being SO gracious, patient and loving to me...

Tomorrow starts a new week - I have mixed feelings. Perhaps it's the tiredness from all the travelling, perhaps it's from the upcoming travelling, studying, and the many big and exciting church events and things I have to do... Man, just listing them down tires me. Though I don't foresee any chance for luxurious rest, I really hope to have some time off to just realign..

Julian and Serene are back from Peru. They are very very dear friends of mine from a long time ago... I appreciate them and their work for the Lord in Lima, Peru. Will be doing some catching up with some other friends... Man, even that sounds tiring... Hahaha.

Our church's 15th Anniversary is one month away, and I am so excited about it, cos this is gonna be a BIG celebration. It's gonna be a HUGE Family party, and I am honoured to be on duty as stage manager with Cara.

Have a GREAT week ahead.. I'll keep you posted about mine. Glad to be home...

Stressssss.....!!!!

It's been a rather stressful time... Back from Taiwan last Sun, and I am off again this coming Monday, and the pressure for this coming trip is greater. My boss has explicitly expressed that I should come back with some sales... So, if u dun see me around in Singapore for about 3 months, I am probably in exile in Taiwan cos we can stay there for max 3 months without a visa. Hahaha! Like I told my fellow colleague who's gong with me: this trip is a test of how strong our necks are, cos if we don't come back with any sales, our heads will probably roll... Don't be mistaken... I am saying all these lightheartedly.. So, you can chuckle... Hehehe...

I guess I have quite a lot of expectations on myself... That's a tendency... I never really considered myself a perfectionist... but I guess there's some traits of that looming around, about myself. I tend to expect a lot of myself, and sometimes that creates unnecessary burden. I thank God during this stressful time that I have Him to fall back on, always. Man, it is so comforting to know that when I look at Him, everything else pales in conparison... even stress. Like the song goes, "When all things that surround become shadows in the light of You."

I have been blessed with encouragers and cheerleaders along this way, and I am thankful for every single one of you (that includes those who dropped lines of encouragement in this blog). I guess God loves me too much to leave me alone...

I am a blessed child... He thinks the world of me... I guess that is so sufficient... His Grace is sufficient for me...

Easier said than done

Testings... Trials... words we always use and talk about... Again, I am going through one of these words... It's a dilemma... On one hand, testings make a person stronger. Hahaha, like my Econs lecturer said, "What can't kill you will only make you stronger." He was referring to our Econs exam of course. Well, when testings come in your face, many things are thrown in the forefront to be challenged and tested. Things you proclaim, values and principles that you hold on to all the while suddenly become mroe than just words. They become things you have to consciously and purposely live out and adhere to. It is so much easier to talk about values, principles when one is not tested, but when Testing comes in my face, I get startled and much of my foundation get shaken.
It's a matter of choice, many say. It's not about how I feel, but what God wants for me. All these are easy to say when others go through testing and you stand on the sideline cheering... but as the runner, it's a conscientious choice and doing that I have to go through... I want to be a winner. I want to finish the race. But I know that along the way, many things WILL distract me, taunt me, tempt me, test me... Oh Lord, You said it is not by my might nor power, but by Your Spirit. You said, not my will, but Yours be done. You said, You will sustain me and strengthen my feeble arms. Your servant, King David said, "My heart and my strength, many times they fail, but there is one truth that will always prevail. You are the strength of my heart and my portion forever." You Promised Your Holy Spirit to intercede for me and to help me through...
Oh Lord, help me to be an overcomer cos' it is easier said than done... By Your Spirit, I will overcome. You said You are going to chart a new chapter of my life in You. You are going to unfold the gerater plans You have for me, to take me to new heights and higher grounds, and that I will be tested. Thank You for reminding me that You have chosen me. I give You thanks in advance for going through testings to see Your Greater Glory unveiled through my life.

AMEN.

Drained...

It's been a rather tough week for me... Somehow feels like all energy has been drained outta my body, sapped away... Many people ask me the same question, "Are you alright? Is anything troubling you? Are you stressed? Are you sad? Tell me your problems... etc etc". I guess I have a face that tells it all... I am not troubled by anything in particular. I am just extremely tired... Probably used up too much of my brain cells and my body ain't used to it. Hahaha!
Perhaps one of the stress points is my business trip next week... One full week in Taiwan, plus my bosses going with me, and I am still not very familiar with the place, and language-wise, I have lots to learn... Business trips are always stressful... Thank God He is always encoouraging me to press on.
It is never easy to persevere in something (especially when it is God's will). It is always difficult to do things that I can't but God says I can. Well, if He says I can and He has opened all the doors needed for me to "can", then I have to press on till I see the fruits of my labour. I am results-oriented, so when I don't see immediate results/outcome but have to plough and sow and grow in the (long) meantime, it can get very challenging for me. Lord, thank You for always reminding me of all the things You have done to place me where I am today... That very fact keeps me going.
On Tue, I met up with Coconut, my secondary school friend. We had a GREAT time grousing, moaning, complaining, encouraging, supporting each other... It's such a wonderful fact that we are not just great long-time friends, but we are sisters-in-Christ as well... Here's one for you my dear friend! And thanks for being there!
Well, that's about it for now... You've always been a great audience!

I surVived!!!!

Phew, it's over! At least for the 1st Module... and I survived... It feels unreal, cos' I never thought this day could come... I am not a very academic person, not the most intellectual sort... So, for me to be doing my Masters with such intensity sounded unthinkable... But by His Grace, I have come thus far...
I must say that for the past 2 weeks, He has been with me, sustaining me, keeping my eyes from closing during class, encouraging and cheering me on everyday. Thank You Abba Father. And every day that I go for class, I relish in the fact that He placed me there... He has a great plan for me, and I am humbled by that fact. Exams was on Thur, Fri and Sat. Even after just the 1st paper - Capital markets, I felt a great sense of relief. FSA (Financial Statement Analysis) was a killer as expected, and the scene in the classroom was tickling... Everyone was buried under a huge load of papers and frantically flipping pages and notes to find some clues to the answers (all our exams were open-book). On Sat, we had a celebration after our Quantitative paper at the Graduates Lounge with wine and Relief as the Guest of Honour. After that, our group - A+ Limited and some other classmates went for dinner at Jumbo at Clarke Quay.











My classmates are fun, especially the one who asks the funniest questions and crack the whole class up with them. Yup, to the "earth- preciation" guy, here's One for you!



And the other 2 who always mispronounce my lovely name, and using the excuse of "closeness" to get away with it. here's One for you too!


The 2 weeks were super intensive and we were all shocked by it, but I must say that the camaradarie was enjoyable. Like I was telling them, for the past 2 weeks, no one else, other than one another, can truly understand what we went through, so I guess that makes it a shared experience, and shared experiences make friends. So my friends, we have 5 more modules (including Switzerland) to go, so let's be best of friends man!

It is my privilege to be in a class of really credible and smart people. More so, I enjoy the diversity of nationalities and cultures in the class, not mentioning the variety of professional backgrounds and experiences. So, despite the torture of intensive studying, I enjoyed the people most.

It's back to work tomorrow. What a chore... but I look forward to Friday when we meet again... without the books and exams! HOORAY!!!

A breather...

Man, it has been one of the most trying and challenging weeks of my life. Even during my school years for about 20 years of my life, nothing compares to these 2 weeks. My course is SO intensive, no one (except) my classmates can believe or imagine. Gosh, the concentration is so needed at every moment of the lectures because the moment you miss out something, it is quite hard to catch up. My classes are daily from 830a - 7p, 3 blocks of 3 hrs. And Econs is my killer.
Every single day I wake up, asking God to sustain me and give me wisdom and knowledge for the day. Every single night, my heart wells up with thanksgiving to Him for bringing me through the day. On one hand, the intensity of the course is really dreadful. (Like one of my classmates said, he asks himself "Why?" - as in why did he apply for this course, every morning.) On the other hand, I am so charged up by the mere sense of passing each challenging day. Every day I tell myself that before I know it, next weekend will come and I would have cleared Module 1. But of course, when I do not understand my Econs lecture and the IS-LM (worse still, the AS-AD) curves, and struggle during certain parts of Quantative (aka Statistics), my heart grouses and is discouraged. And for the records, I come home every night, and try my best to do some reading, just to catch up on that day's lectures/study for my pop quizzes.
It didn't help that my body crashed on the 2nd day - had a bad bout of cold and flu: stuffed nose AND runny at the same time, bad throat, headache. Gosh, in that condition, trying to grasp the IS-LM curves were like understanding Marsians. I even asked the Holy Spirit to "cover me" during my bouts of losing my brain in the thick of the lectures. Thank You Holy Spirit.
The good thing about my course is the classmates. With people from mostly Asia, diversity is quite evident. And thank God for my group - A+ Limited, who stayed late on Fri crunching the ratios and numbers for our FSA (Financial Statement Analysis) group assignment. It was a fun time!
Well, all in all, I have my fair share of grousing and complaints about this week, mainly cos I have never studied SO hard and SO intensively in my life, and intellectually and mentally, it's extremely challenging. But on the whole, I thank God that I am even doing this - that He made a way for me to get into this course, and that I survived the 1st week, i.e, half of Module 1. Oh, and of course, the not-too-bad pop quizzes for Cap Markets (esp the 2nd one, which I miraculously calcultaed the correct figures, Praise the Lord!). You rock, God!
Ok, now it's time to hit the books again... IS-LM, here I come!!!

School's REALLY starting tomorrow...

Last week was only half a week of Prep course (Intro to Stats, Accounting, Portfolio Management, etc). And it was only a prelude to what is to come... I saw this week's schedule; i choked and had phobia already... It's full days, from 830am till 7pm. GOSH, I left school for 7 years already! Have mercy on me....

I am really challenged to do my best... Well, today Ps Jeff shared what it means by grieving the Holy Spirit. It is hearing the Holy Spirit and not obeying His Voice... Sigh, now, that challenged me even more... I felt God tell me in the midst of my class last week that I should really put in A LOT of effort in my studies, and to be the best that i can be - ALL for His Glory. That sounds like a really good proposition when I first heard it, but it immediately struck that MY part of the good proposition is that I got to really study HARD. See, I am a lazy person; I LURVE to play. Studying is really not my forte. But I know that being the head, not the tail, being the BEST in studies, at work, is glorifying Him. So, I still struggle, cos I am always afraid of committing, saying Yes, and not being able to fulfill it. I hate to be a loser. But I guess when I put in all my best efforts and the results do not turn out the way I expect it to be, it is still glorifying Him. Glorifying Him, I guess, is not just scoring and being 1st, but it's the process of excellence.

A lot of self-control has to come into play in all these things. Self-control is playing less, and studying more. Man, I feel that the theme for the rest-of-the-year is Put in Effort, Give your best - Glory to Him. Simple, yet so difficult to do, cos it's me.

I love Hope Church Singapore. It's my Family. And I do miss Ps Ben who's away ministering in our US churches. I guess that's one of the tell-tale signs that this church is my Family.

God be with me in these 2 weeks...

School: a once-upon-a-time revived

man, feels kinda weird that I am going to school tomorrow.... all over again...
I am preparing my pencil-case with my coloured pens, getting all my original certificates, my transcripts, etc. So funny... it's really like going back to school.... all the registration and administrative stuffs i have to do tomorrow... Interesting...

in the meantime, I just did something I have never done before... those techie stuff that I am not good at. I downloaded some stuffs so I can chat with HanLong and actually SEE him on webcam! Man, it was surreal... technology is amazing!! really closes up the distance...

Back to school-tomorrow... don't really know what to expect... so will just go with the flow and enjoy being a student again.

I am hungry... and I am having a GREAT time chatting and watching HanLong! thank God for technology.

Lull period

Today is a lazy Monday. Sometimes I wonder where I am in my career. At this point of time, things look as if they are locked - neither here nor there. In times like this when I cannot see how I can move on in my career, I can only cling on to the Promises of God and His vision for me... It can be somewhat depressing not knowing how my career is gonna carry on from here. But I believe that ALL things work for the good of those who love Him and are faithful to His calling.
Feels like this is a lull period, cos can't do much at work now, cos i am starting school next week. Maybe that is another cause of stress and uncertainty. I am really not a very academic person... and I heard it's gonna be intense. O Lord, pls help me through it since You put me into this course. It is like a dream come true. I look forward to finishing this course and to improve myself. At least I can speak more intelligently after that.
O Lord, lift up my spirit... Only You are my true source of Joy and Strength and the Reason for all I do.

Inner Circle

Today's CG was a GREAT time of worship and prayer and dwelling in His Presence... In Him, eveything else pales in comparison. I am always brought back to my days in Uni when things were much simpler, and I could just leap off the mountain for Him in abandonment. Today, life is more complicated - work, the world, cares of life.. But I thank God He has sustained me, to keep my love for Him.. As He said in isaiah, He will sustain me till my old age.
I thank God for the "inner circle" - my CG. To share what God spoke to me about, which was something very personal and somethng humbling... I hesitated a little while, but Inhibitions and Emma are not synonymous most of the time. I felt really quite vulnerable sharing what God spoke to me about.. It felt that my inadequacies and my lack were being displayed out... For a choleric to openly share her weaknesses or anything lesser than the best and the formidable is quite intimidating... But as His Word says, In humility, consider others better than myself... So, exposing my weaknesses, in front of the "inner circle" is not as threatening I guess.. Afterall, this is a bunch of people whom I know, will still love me despite my imperfections... Thanks, guys. It was a GREAT time of just being with The Maker, my Lord. I look forward to going Home...

Crash!

Yup, think my body crashed... Think it couldn't withstand the energy that i have within me. Gosh, for a person who doesn't like to sleep and think sleeping is a waste of time, I think I must be REALLY tired to sleep and sleep and still feel tired. Plus the aches of course... Well, guess I haven't really rested properly since before camp, that's why.

I thank God that the WAMers have grown closer... it's really heart-warming to see God's people loving one another and serving together... i can spend eternity with them man...







I think perhaps I am thinking too much. I have so much in me I wanna do, but feel so limited to do it. And it doesn't help that class is starting in 2 weeks' time. The thought of it stresses me up already... God, help me to manage the stress in my life, in everything. Gosh, I feel that I am being (and gonna continue to be) stretched. Feels like God wants to strecth me to do more, do bigger, do better. It's challenging man... but I believe He will expand my territory for me to do more. Thank You for seeing me worthy. I desire to expend my every ounce of energy glorifying You. But Lord, remind me always, to keep in step with Your Spirit, and not run ahead. Anoint me, Expand me, stretch me, and contain me, that I may not crack.

I am excited (though fearful) of the things ahead of me. I want to know You even more, even deeper. Show me Your Glory, and Your Grace!

Chanced upon a blog which pointed me to this interesting personality test. I am like King David! Wow, what an honour!

Glimpse of Heaven...

Past 6 days were like Heaven.. not that I know what is it really like up there but past few days in camp was unforgettable. Thank You for a great camp. And thanks to you all for your affirmations; i hope it was unforgettable for you too.

And peiKs, thanks for being such a perfect Duo. Here's one for you:
















Time spent together with my spiritual family was surreal. We served hard and played real hard as well. All the jokes were memorable... all the kawans were fun too. And for the record, WAMers ain't just talented in music, they can act too. I got to know some kawan better, eg., Ah Chek (Isaac), HowJoo, Ron, Ange. And JX, that prayer you said during the CG prayer time, made me and Ange tear. You good man!















Not forgetting the extended day in Malacca... and the Jonker Street performances. We totally lost it there man...












And of course... the Coffee Club (we won't mention the day and time here)... Think Fen's blog will have a pic for this, so check out her blog.

On the whole, I was in LaLa Land for the past 6 days. And in conclusion, I met great kawans, and of course, the Kawan of All - GOD. Thanks for Everything!

Tomorrow is like a Wedding Day

Had to sneak a blog post in, cos tomorrow is The BIG Day... I was talking to Pei Key and we were saying it feels like our wedding day tomorrow... We're filled with so much excitement, yet so much apprehensions and so many details we are afraid to overlook. So Pei Key, here's a HUGE *PAT* for you. You did a GREAT job! Aiyah, the most your rewards in heaven a bit more than mine lor... ;)
Tomorrow is camp. Ok, pre-camp. The comm and a whole jing-gang is going for the advance party tomorrow. Lest you think we're gonna enjoy myself, we're going in for the set-up. Lots of work goes before camp actually starts.
Man, I dread for it to be over... Lord, pls extend the unforgettable time we're gonna have there. It's YOUR Show!

For more details and stories, visit after the camp...

Kawan Go Malaka!

while I wait for my nails to dry...

It's kinda late now, and I am still up. Since I just repainted my nails and I gotta let them dry before going to bed (lest I destroy my artwork), I thought I should just write my blog. Painting my nails is a stress-buster, but this round of painting before coming to write my blog was more of a necessity than an enjoyment this time... oh, don't think you'd understand this part... it's an Art.
Wow, it's quite good rattling on about something I enjoy even if you, my reader, do not understand. Hahaha!
I'm tired... feels like I'd trekked over mountains and came down the valleys a couple of times over... ok, I am exaggerating, but I am tired... much has been happening over the past couple of weeks, and the most interesting thing is that all the things happened in my head, heart and soul. It has been a good time tarrying with God and coming through to see many things from His point of view and coming to know who I am, and Who He is, and how He is always so in control even when I am fumbling. Thank You for always having the BIG picture in Your fathomless Mind.

AAAARRRRGGGGHHHHH!!!! I SPOILED ON MY MY NAIL POLISH!!!!!! Gosh, again, you won't understand the frustration that comes when your nail polish is less than perfect. GGGRRRRRrr... think the top coat will work.

Sorry, back... composed myself, cos I have an audience here...

Tomorrow's Friday... 2June Friday doesn't feel as great as the other Fridays, I don't know why, but I will still savour it, cos I love Friday... maybe I should find a husband called "Friday". hahahahaha!

K, enough rattling... I am gonna take the leap and go sleep without my nail polish completely dry (that'll take a full 2hrs before it is TOTALLY dry, the manicurists tell me). *yawn* it's getting too late... I can't afford to sleep so little everyday...

Nitey ;)

Accountability & Hip Hip Hoorays!

Had been going through yet-another cycle of thought, this time a new wave... man, it's tiring always to go through thinking processes about the things I do, think and say. I guess that's why they call our walk with God a journey; our end is when we meet Him.
I thank God He has taught and instilled in me the concept of accountability. In all things, it is important and crucial that we be accountable to our shepherds, our leaders.. Godly counsel, the bible said, is beneficial to us, and it is true indeed... just like when I spoke to an "angel" who dispenses godly counsel. (You go, angel!)
And recently I learnt quite a lot of new things, about myself, about life, about my expectations, my weaknesses, my blind spots. Again, thank God for shepherds who are always there to cover my blind spots. So, to my shepherds (in all forms), here's one CHEER for you!
And for the mentor, Chris, who always helps me to focus in my work, who keeps me in perspective about things, who always has coffee with me at the most appropriate times, and who never fails to pat me on my back and encourage me when I am down, here's one CHEER for you too, bro!
Had lunch with Gabriel, a brother from our cg... Good bro.. He's a bit like Mini-Me... similar temperaments, in similar field of work/study, very blessed by God... So brother, here's one CHEER to you to keep on focussing on He who Provides. God is SO important...
And one more CHEER for the camp comm who made the camp happen. I know it's gonna be Fabulous!!

Tomorrow's Wed... so to the GREAT Family in Worship Unit, here's one CHEER!

K, enough of cheering and Hip Hip Hoorays... I feel I am eccentric at times... It's 30 May 06... half the year is gone... doesn't time zoom...???

p.S: I'm gonna be a godma to Claire, Sandra's baby girl... Hahahahhaa!!!

Sunday-night thoughts...

Apart from the feeling that it's Monday - The work day tomorrow, I have lots of mashed-up emotions within me... been thinking a lot over the past week... And thinking a lot is tiring... One consolation is that there is "Initlal D" on cable now - Jay Chou is so cool... (Man, I can see the make-up on his face in the show... that's quite yikes)...Then again, that's just unserious admiration... But I guess he looks cool because he is seemingly so secured and confident... Now those're 2 attractive qualities... (ok, tt's blabbering)
Maybe it's waking up on the wrong side of the bed this morning, plus the lateness... and a chain of happenings in service today... and after-service flusters. Yea, I was flustered, face was flushed, I don't really know why... Is it the excitement of having many things happening? Or is it mixed with the oh-so-much thinking and emotions that have been invading me over the past week. I am so looking forward to church camp cos I feel that is gonna be such a wonderful time away from work, from many things, and just knowing God and having great fellowship with my brothers and sisters.
I have been feeling kinda out of the world... just feels that I am floaty, not very grounded... I really don't know exactly why and what... I guess there are times when we go through times like these... But it's always good to know that God is around and that I am under His jurisdiction.

Babies are such lovely beings... carrying my lil nephew - Shau En, brings such peace, such love invoked from within me... Oh, and for the records, Sandra gave birth, finally. CONGRATS gal!

Tomorrow's Monday and i need Your Grace to face the week. Again, thank God there's CG on Wed, that ALWAYS makes the week pass better... So you guys in my CG, thanks for the fellowship that I always look forward to.

Till the next blog-entry, I shall cling on to His Grace and His Sufficiency cos That will keep me going on...

Better Thursday..

Today was somewhat a lil' unusual. For a start, early in the morning, the NZD appreciated (FINALLY), and we could see SOME daylight. That currency has just been diving south with not much silver lining in the southern clouds... That sheep-dependent economy finally shed some light in reducing their trade deficits. Phew! Thank You Lord, cos I prayed that NZD will appreciate, cos if not, many of my clients are stuck in that dovish currency. So, at least helped some clients to cut losses, some break even, and some potentially even make some capital gains... Thank You Lord for this good news amidst all the other falling markets...

My secondary school friend, Sandra is in the hospital, gonna deliver Baby Claire anytime... so exciting to have your good friends popping. She called me in the morning when she was in the hospital, bored. Hahaha! You rock, Sandy! And cos' of that, I met up with Coconut, another close secondary friend for lunch. It was a GREAT time of catching up... This bunch of secondary school friends of mine are so special. Remember those times when we played truant, got into disciplinary trouble, and had lotsa fun... and today, 2 of them are mothers, and 2 of us are single. The 2 singles concluded that God is good - He sent both of us to accompany each other on the single side of the game. Hahaha! Old good friends are special... and the best thing is... we're all sisters-in-Christ, serving and loving Him in our own various capacities.

And last but not least, to rejoice and thank God... Tomorrrow's FRIDAY!!!! Friday is the BEST day of the week (apart from Sat and SunDAY, not SUn night, cos we gotta work on Monday morning). There seem to be so many things to do, but I LURVE to build the house of God! thank You Lord, for this privilege... :-)

Epiphany...

Big word huh? Well, I think I discovered new things about myself and about what God probably has in store for me. A big realization is that: What I think I want/need may not be what I actually need/am suited for... Hey, I am not en empty vessel who makes a lot of noise ok... I got "deep waters" within me... Hahahaha!

It's great to have realizations and revelations from God, it's always refreshing and ensures that I am in Him. It is so easy not to be in Him... so, God, thanks for the rain, and for the epiphany... Your ways and thoughts are indeed higher than mine.

It's Wed tomorrow... Hallelujah!

I GOT IN! & Rain...

Some incredible things happened today.. Well, I do feel a lil' tired, but it still feels surreal...
My last blog entry (which was last night) talked a lil' about the weather, how it was frustrating me cos of the heat and how I actually asked God for rain... and this afternoon, during service, I heard "pitter patter pitter patter". Yup, I was awe-struck! He sent Rain!!!! Wow, He is so nice, so loving, so caring... He even bothers when I complain and whine about the weather. Thank You Lord. I was also very encouraged by Him who used me this morning as I shared His inspired Word during our prayer meeting in the morning, and how the same Words were used during the 2 services as well. Thank You for affirming me.

As usual, I had a GREAT time with the guys after my meetings and were reluctant to go home, but I had a wedding dinner to attend. I went home, and napped. Now this is the surreal part... I woke up and somehow stood at my dressing table and realized I have some mails. And I saw one from SMU, and when I opened it, Guess What? They told me my application to the Masters Programme is SUCCESSFUL! GOSH, it was surreal man... I went to show my family - they were delighted and excited! I did have some mixed feelings, but I am thankful... SO thankful for this opportunity. Thank YoU jesus. It's gonna be tough-going, but I will persevere by His Grace! And I did ask You for this as one of my breakthrough prayer, Thank You for opening a way...

My mind had been swarmed with quite a chunkful of thoughts... sigh, that is always a tiring exercise... Lord, let Your peace guard my heart and mind in Christ Jesus. The new week (of challenges) start again... My Lord, pls be with me, and go through it with me... I look forward to Wed for CG... I LURVE this CG... Thanks, guys, for being part of my life...

Weekends...

Weekends are such special days. They are PRECIOUS... Friday nights are always magical - they make you reluctant to sleep early. Last night some of us were out for supper after their music practise. We went to Geylang for Tau Huay, and it was a crazy time in the car, but it was great fun. I was telling Fenny that it is so wonderful that we serve so hard together in church and we play so hard as well, and that's where friendship really grows and the bond really strengthens. Praise the Lord for His love that binds us together. I was real tired after that, but had to get up early today for shepherding, and went out with mum in the afternoon. And the weather definitely didn't help in lessening my frustration. The weather really gets to me... God, pls send some rain to cool down the weather. I remember once I was also frustrated by the weather and I asked God to send rain, and yup, u guessed it.. it rained. I LURVE rainy days - they somehow make me happier.

Tomorrow's always the exciting day of the week - Sunday. So, I'm gonna catch my sleep, and catch you soon too!

FRiEnDs...

Today Pei Key and I "celebrated" - an ultra mini one - our 4th Shepherding Anniversary, and I beat her to it! She's a GREAT sheep, a wonderful friend, sister and partner. She's also so gifted:creative, detailed, organized, funny. Celebrations are therapeutic, we should always do that.



Now that's a friend in my life.



My previous entry talked about another.




And here's another one in Melbourne: Alice. She's special too.



Of course, there are many many more, and I am so blessed to have so many people around me who loves me just for who I am, and accepts me for just the way I am. And for those who 'remind" me (gently or not-so-gently) about my shortcomings, I thank God for you too. For those who just laugh and play with me, you are special too. For those whom I haven't met for quite a while, Yup, you too are in my thought sometimes and I remember you with fondness. I thank God for friends He has given me. I guess He wants us to be His friends too.

Well, our coming camp is about Friendship and I pray that my brothers and sisters will make new friends, catch up with old ones and have a balluva time in Malacca,



cos in church, Friends for Eternity is what it is all about, HALLELUJAH!

Back in Singapore

Came back from Taipei on Sunday. It was a good trip, thank God.


Cousins in Taipei

Went for DaVinci Code (DVC) seminar in church yesterday. I was greatly encouraged to see so many people in church excited and eager to know the Truth, more importantly, the overwhelming response reflected the teachable hearts of our people. Yup, we had the honour of sitting outside at the reception. Even the reception was packed. Praise the Lord! Actually, what I took back with me after the seminar was an affirmation of my faith. I am SO honoured to have and know the Truth. I am SO privileged that God saved me, put me on the side of Truth, that I do not struggle on the "other side" wondering what is Truth. I also realized, amidst all the controversies, all the allegations, all the long-time accusations and attempts to "overthrow" Christianity, God's Truth is simple: LOVE - His Love. So many theories and furious attempts to disprove the authenticity of the bible, to slam the Divinity of Christ... His Message is just so simple. You will fully comprehend only when you are IN the Truth, IN Him, and experience the truth for yourself. I was filled with gratitude last night as I dwelled in the seminar-aftermath.

Oh, and I wanna talk about my dad. Relationship with my dad used to be so strained when I was growing up. 4 years ago, I decided to live out what the bible says: to honour my parents, and I made the decision to love my dad regardless. Anyhow, that's not the main thing I wanna share. What I wanna talk about is our relationship now. It's so enriching, so special. Now I understand that dads are special. I know and can feel how much my dad loves me. He shows it in his support for my work, sharing so many things about him to me, sharing his experiences with me. I look forward to the day when he's gonna receive Jesus as his personal Saviour and experience true Love - always persevering, always hoping, always THERE. That day's gonna come soon, in Jesus' Name. Thank You Lord, in advance.


My Dad & I

And here's some pics for your viewing pleasure - snippets of recent happenings:


WAM Beauties - Fenny's BIG Day @ Grand Shanghai


My new nephew - Shau Ern

Miss Black

Read Fenny's blog, and attempted the color test myself... *drum roll* I am BLACK! Mmm, I thought I only like to wear black, didn't think I am actually a BLACK at heart.



Your true color is Black!



Your color is black. The color of night. Serene and mysterious, black conjures up images of elegant evening gowns, dashing tuxedos, and gleaming limousines. Traditionally a symbol of success, black also represents power and an uncompromising demand for perfection. Not surprisingly, you tend to set challenging goals for yourself and do whatever it takes to achieve them — your strength of character is second to none. This unfaltering determination, along with your natural elegance, impresses people. But keep in mind that your personality might be intimidating to some. Try to temper your demanding side with a little softness — trust us, it won't kill you. Overall, though, black is the color of professionalism and achievement, which means it's clearly the color for you.

What's Your True Color?

Brought to you by Tickle

Mmm, don't think I am as stiff, strict as the Black described me to be. It's somewhat descriptive of me, but I am fun-loving, crazy, sanguine, and quite gracious too la... Thank God for God in me, cos if not, I would be totally and utterly BLACK. Thank God for His Fruit of the Spirit in me that makes me a balanced person.

I completed my 5.8km JPMorgan Run yesterday without walking. I jogged real slow, but hey, I didn't walk ok... That was a personal challenge, especially considering the fact I hardly trained, so thank God for the mind He gave me: it's ALL in the mind. When it was really tough-going, and I really felt like walking, I told myself that my body is actually not very tired; it's my mind that is, so I cannot give in to the tiredness in the mind. Since I started running, I am always reminded of this: One can run slowly, even walk - it's alright, but one must finish the race no matter what. God said we are called to run this race of faith as well. We must be finishers of the race - no matter in what manner.

Each run I complete is a personal feat for me. Thank You Lord for being with me through my runs and always encouraging me to press on. Thank You for the salvations I hear in the most improbable people (share that the next time).

"Hua Yu" COOL!

Well, Singapore has been promoting the use of the Chinese language, the slogan is "Hua Yu COOL". I gotta adopt that now. Well, as I ALWAYS said, my chinese is really not that bad. I can somewhat read at least half the chinese words, and I can speak. Of course, it is a different ball game altogether when your clients are Taiwanese. The Lord has "promoted" me recently to take over one of the Taiwan portfolio. I am grateful, but am filled with apprehensions at the same time. It is no joke having to deal with savvy, sophisticated clientele.
In the course of God unfolding His plans for me, there are MANY MANY times I want to throw in the towel and take the easier route. Doubts, disappointments, apprehensions, uncertainties are a bunch of discouragements. I remember Julian asked me once, whether I really wanna do this (succeeding in the world as salt and light and example that christians are heads, not tails). He asked if I want to be "not normal", not mediocre. I remember answering him: I have NO choice, I cannot be mediocre. Be it my upbringing, my family background, my exposure, how I am wired up - yea, blame it on all these reasons - I guess I am made for BIG things. I believe the Lord has already inscribed my life journey in the palm of His Hand even before I was formed in my mother's womb. This fact is humbling, for who am I that He should create me for greatness.
Throughout the past 4 months, I often remind myself of what one of my dear brothers shared with me as my "birthday gift": Humility. Success should not bring about pride, but it should bring about even more humility. I don't know how I am where I am today - it's ONLY by His Grace. For the 1st time, after reading a book, I realized why Peter told Jesus, "Away from me, Lord, for I am a sinful man." He said this after he caught many fish when Jesus asked them to let down their nets. Story is that they have been fishing the entire night but did not catch any fish (even as professional fishermen). When they did what Jesus asked them to, they harvested aplenty. Success humbled him. I guess that is what you call character.
I realized that in life, it is very important for us to ALWAYS get ourselves in perspectives. So many things happen in our lives that can throw us in a frenzy. It is only when we step back from all the entanglement and once again return to our right perspectives, to focus on what's truly important, that we maintain our sanity,
I thank God He is in me, cos He always points me to Him, my True North.
I asked Him one night, "Lord, how is it possible I still love You so much and find You so novel and fresh after 10 years? I don't know how I am going to sustain through another 50 years." And I looked into the bible and there He was: "Even to your old age and gray hairs, I am he, I am he who will sustain you; I have made you and I will carry you; I will sustain you and I will rescue you." Once again, I met Him....
I will CHOOSE to press on.... Remind me when I feel like giving up...

Intercession

Easter is over. Our services were great, not because our programme was great; in fact our programme was normal. But God was present. Both Sat and Sun service... His Love was Overwhelming. It was so encouraging to see how HIs people served Him tiredlessly, despite physical constraints like age. (winks at the Dinos)


easter svc


I was extremely blessed by this Easter. On Sat night, something unusual happened to me. I was rather tired (or so I thought), so I laid down to sleep. But tears started rolling down by face onto my pillow. They didn't stop, and I was rather surprised, as I could not understand why I was crying. So I started praying, and the more I prayed, the more I teared. I then started asking God what He wanted me to pray about, cos I gathered after a while that perhaps it was an encounter with Him. It was burdensome to intercede... for those who have yet to know Him, for our ministers who were tired, for my family, etc etc. It was a heart-wrenching time. This went on for about 45min... I was real tired by then, but I couldn't bring myself to sleep without asking Him. Finally, I think He "permitted". I was excited... Excited to see how these prayers will come to pass, excited because I interceded according to His will, His leading. It was memorable and precious, as it was a time between my Lord and I. I was also overwhelmed by ALL that He has given me. All that I have - my talents, giftings, abilities, personality, character, everything... is what He designed. Thank You for this honour to be Yours.
Easter was a time I thought of His love for me... It was overwhelming. After 10 years, He still amazes me. Thank you for this EverNew Love... Thank You for this special Relationship.

During this business trip, I wanna continue to declare fruitfulness in my work, for He is a God of Fruitfulness and success!

Thank You in advance...

Pensive...

I stayed home today cos' I am having such a bad sore throat. GOSH, it's torturous man. I just got a camera. It's so fun. Check out some of the shots I took... Life has been rather monotonous. Other than those times I spend with my CG people serving, laughing and having fun, life has been rather monotonous. But quite a few things have been on my mind... maybe I think too much. My ipod could not be updated, frustrated me... had to do stuffs to get it up and about again... technology, gadgets... they get on your nerves when they don't work. That's why they are not in my favourites' list. But I must say, they are useful and do make like mroe colourful. For those of you out there who do not know, WAM has quite a few eligible bachelors... They are people who have wonderful character AND personalities, gifted, talented, AND love God. Tho' they are better as brothers to me, they are all great and available people... I decided to undertake this important job as the WAM spokesperson.

Church life is vibrant, exciting and fun. Serving God is great fun and very satisfying indeed. For anyone who has not experienced the joy of serving the Lord, you're missing out on a great deal.



Guess I'll just leave it for now... I'll be expecting emails... ;)

P.S: Sorry, no pics yet, dunno why couldn't download. Next time, dudes...

A dear friend..

Today I think of a very very dear friend... someone I am very close with, someone who is so dear to me... but he is not here, away in Manila... Most of you who read my blog will probably know who he is. Anyway, there's a picture of him here.
It still feels weird not to have him here... We've been friends for the longest time. All the times we've been through together, I thank God He preserves our friendship. HL is someone who will listen to me grouse, whine, and take a lot of my nonsense... Of course, I have my fair share of taking his too...
This evening, I thought of him, and still feel weird. For example, I suddenly contracted the Jay-Chou-disease. When he was around, I'd just pick up the phone and exclaim to him all about Jay Chou. And he will just entertain me and listen and maybe even discuss with me, since he is more into Chinese songs than me. Perhaps we can then discuss about Initial D and how cool Jay Chou is in that show... Alas, he is faraway...
And HL, if you are reading this, and you think you have been forgotten, trust me, you have not. You are dearly missed by us, (and if u dun believe, u can always take a sample of "the trinity" and be proven wrong). I'm always cheering you on, so do us proud there yea?

Ok, since HL is not here for me to grouse to, you - my blog audience - will be the ones honoured to read my ranting and grousing. thanks for being a GREAT audience.

Till we meet again, soon.

GMAT aftermath

I dreamt once that I scored 680 for my GMAT. Haha, it was a dream alright... or I was short-sighted, and saw a 6 instead of a 5. I got 580. I was really glad... Thank You Lord. On that morning of the exam, I was riding in my bro-in-law's car and as I was staring out of the window, a van drove past and on it were these words, "Fear not, for I am with you." Yup, I scribbled that on my scratch paper once I sat there for the exam. 580 is not like fantastic, but it is a great improvement from my 490 score. Perhaps I should not publish my GMAT score like that. It's quite an embarrasment... But well, it's still Grace Intervention. And boy, am I glad it is OVER. HALLELUJAH!

The one month before my GMAT, I felt that my life was on a standstill. Easter programming, church camp, and other programming stuffs were all frozen. K, I am a woman, I can multi-task, but not this time with the exam... Now that it's outta the way, feels like my life-clock starts to tick again... Many stuffs to clear for ministry, but I LURVE serving in the Kingdom of God. I was having a wonderful dinner with my sheep last night and we were just raving about how exhilarating it is to go to church - OUR church on a Sunday. Everything and everyone feels like Family...

I was also sharing with her about how as we serve Him, we need to pray and soak everything we do (in ministry and service) in Him. We need to pray and commit the things we do FOR Him, unto Him. It's only when our programme, our serving, our spirits, are soaked in Him, that we can exude out the fragrance and the spirit of Christ. Afterall, it is HIS ministry! The River of Life MUST flow from the throne of God, then the River will bring Life to all who come not just into it, but also near it. Imagine if everyone who serves on a Sun has personal experiences with God, has new revelations about Him... and when we all come together on a Sun to serve and worship Him corporately, what power of God will be unleashed and imagine how powerful our services are gonna be. THAT, is doing ministry! I look forward to see that day... with the strumming of just ONE guitar string, people will fall at their feet to worship Him and lives will be transformed and souls will be saved. THAT is the power of our Living God!

My vision statement for programming ministry is "The next service/event is gonna be the BEST one EVER!"

God bless our church, sorry, His Church...

Join the band wagon if you want to experience Him...

GMAT eve

Today is the day before my next GMAT. The emotions that I have are somewhat mixed. On one hand, I am excited that after tomorrow, I am free. On the other hand, the thought of not doing well makes me dread going for it. I still am a bit bitter about having to do this entrance exam for a LOCAL Masters. And I feel that I got to be tortured AND I am paying for the course! What world is this...??????
Sigh, I feel like I am writing my last words... tomorrow seem to determine my course... but I know it is not exactly the MAIN element that the school will consider, but I can't do too bad too... I can't seem to improve my scores starkly... Maybe I am not academic material... O Lord, if I do get into the course, YOU gotta help me through it...
I'm gonna give it one last shot after this - to do one last full-length exam and then go for the battle tomorrow. Lord, You said, the battle is not mine, but Yours. My eyes are upon You.
And for you guys out there reading this, I'll update you about the results after tomorrow...

I said many times how much fun I have in WAM. People have the impression that WAMers are "elites" in the church. well, they are Levites, not elites. (ok, that didn't really rhyme) They are sooooo much fun! and I attribute that mostly to the strong bond within the group. Just look at how everyone was mobilized and helped out at the wake... You guys rock! And not forgetting the "green curry", "Sheep-auction" and the "Buy 1 get 1 free". With you guys around, I don't mind fellowshipping for eternity man... hahaha!

The clock ticks... it's time I conquer the exam...

Till the next time,
Adios!

Last night...

Last night was eventful... quite a bit of things happened... Prayer meeting was one major happening... Mmm, I always get the Heat problem.. Aircon was not enough to cool down the over-flow of people who came for Prayer Meeting last night(good problem). People were hot for Jesus man! Back in Yr 2002, we had the camp in the tent. Man, we had to battle with the major June-Heat problem big time. Thank God for His people who just love Him and who are gracious. I guess when you are soaked in His presence, nothing else really matters.

After that, we were doing supper when a bro received a phone call saying his mum passed away. The whole table was shocked... What touched my heart a lot was how EVERYONE responded so instantaneously, and nearly the whole unit was prepared to stop-short at dinner halfway to go with him. (The food was hardly here... poor HowJoo and the rest who had to finish things up). The few of us went to his place... the air was still... there was a deep sense of sadness in the family... surely. We stayed to see how we can be of help and basically just be there for the bro and his family.

I love this family of God... everyone loves deeply and jumps in to help one another out... That scene of cencerned faces round that dinner table, those immediate response and volunteering to drop everything to accompany the brother back home... Father, You created all these... Love indeed comes from You. Lord, I know You will do that for us too when we call to You for help, or when we tell You about our troubles and predicaments. You will just drop all that You are doing, and rush to us, sometimes helping us to solve the problems, but sometimes, just to come and hug us, and be with us... You, the Most High God, The Almighty, the King of kings... who shed all inhibitions, all the honour, all the privileges of a king, just to be in the presence of sinful, weak, whiny me - Your Child... Man, it's overwhelming... A song wells up:

My heart is captivated Lord by You Alone
Captured by the Awesomeness of You Alone
Melted by the Grace and Mercy You Have shown,
I stand in wonder....
I reach for You the one who makes the blind eye see
Who breaks the chains of sickness with authority
Restoring what was broken,
So it may fly again....
I live to worship You
I breathe to worship You
All of my days Your Face I will seek
For as I worship You,
You lead me to That Place,
To That Place of Divine Exchange...

Thank You, Lord, for this Privilege to be called Your own.

Your Grace still Amazes me....

Counting down...

Today is Tuesday. Life is rather torturous because I am studying for my GMAT. I can't wait till it's over next Wed. I can already see the things I can do after this heavy burden is off me. But in the meantime, O Lord, please sustain me! Work has been better, Praise the Lord! After He is the One whom I work for, so He'll take care of me.
I was pondering this morning by the Singapore River, about how I can still feel so much for my Lord. And I concluded that He IS and MUST be Real and Alive cos till today, He is still Fresh and New to me. I'm not a person who's good at sustaining somethng for a long while... blame it on the Sanguine in me, haha! As the Chinese says, "3-minutes' flame". But God has been One Person/Thing that doesn't feel stale/boring. So, Thank God I know He is not just Alive, but He is Alive IN me!

today is Sunday. Sunday is always an exciting day of the week for me. There's so much buzz, excitement and expectation on this day. Seeing so many of my friends in church, serving alongside with fellow servants of God - man, that gives me a high! I must say that WAMers are a wonderful bunch of people. Week-in, week-out, they serve faithfully and wholeheartedly... and they still have fun every single week! It MUST be the work fo God! Deacons, or Levites (quote Fenny), are very important people in the Temple of God. Without them, there won't be any service. You guys can't believe the amount of labour and time these people put in on a Sunday... Anyone not in their role, the service will glitch. That's why, the bible says in Acts... These are people who must be full of wisdom and of the Holy Spirit. Like Michael said, "We need God-moments."
Today, a long-time brother came to church. I haven't seen him in our service since 5million years ago. Well, we had great fun during our Uni days... all the naughty things we did.. When I saw him from backstage, I went to shake his hand and greeted him. He said he just felt like coming back, like this is the place he grew up in. His presence warmed my heart a lot cos it felt like the good ol' days when we were worshipping together as students. That's why i love this church - this is where I grew up and spent the most wonderful days of my life in...

I'n in!! I'm in!!

My 1st blog... I'm impressed with myself! Considering I am not quite IT savvy... This virtual world is really amazing.. My life in Virtual Land starts at 29. I shall discover more about this blogging thingy - why it draws people to do it. Perhaps people want to be heard, so airing in Virtual Land is a good substitue.
Actually what made me do this is cos' I want to join in the fun that NG1A3 started. They started a blog for the cg called The Chosen Ones... and I feel such a bond with them that I still wanna "poke" into their busienss, so I created this... Thanks, guys!
Just came back from a gathering at Mama Jac's place. It was fun; Taboo was fun... I look forward to more great times with the WAMers.